written in the stars

i found myself becoming my own enemy,

finding ways to ignore the hurt,

hiding from the thought of healing,

i wanted sorrow and despair,

a craving like vampire to blood,

making my suffering a trophy,

perhaps love can be immortal,

in the eye of the beholder,

desperate for you to see,

lost words; lost at sea,

you wanted to feel wanted,

i wanted to feel seen,

from any perspective,

it’s a prism to it’s means,

it’s my own desperation,

flags turned into moods,

a red one was once green,

pulled the white out,

because i surrender,

not because i wanted to,

i needed to; at one point,

i needed you.

it’s been quite a while,

you’d think i’d forget,

mind games & disrespect,

from my own chest,

the blood pumping,

hearing my heart shatter,

my words never mattered,

actions beyond belief, 

i took my accountability,

where was yours?

we left damage nonetheless,

i never thought of you less,

but i can’t speak for you,

when i was just a mess,

the betrayal was blissful,

knowing i never knew you,

it’s my own fault,

the life that i choose,

feelings above it all,

it was never me,

i’d catch you,

when you’d fall,

the difference is,

you let me go,

when i needed you most,

i became too much,

you became a ghost,

as did i, see-through,

never eye to eye,

you could’ve tried.

let the love decay,

if it’s not meant to be,

let the lust linger,

take your clothes off,

show me all your lingerie,

we’ve fallen out of love,

but you can choose to stay,

my heart is already broken,

so what else is their to break,

i’ll still find a way to love you,

even if we’re miles away,

everything decays,

no matter the time or place,

i was never permanent,

just apart of your phase,

our words made from riddles,

our lives became a maze,

it didn’t make sense,

being stuck in a daze,

got an appetite for love,

but u ain’t what i crave,

you turned love into hate,

a zombie personality.

grounded on the street,

passing by the stop signs,

streetlights shimmering,

off the reflection of eyes,

passing by,

nightlife into brightness,

smoke evaporating,

here and there,

cement feelings,

stuck below the soil,

between a rock,

and a hard place,

you remain soft,

softer than the clouds,

high above it all,

listen to the sounds,

frequencies everywhere,

voices to speak,

ears to listen,

you write,

what’s been written.

don’t know how you feel,

we never talked about it,

my heart sank to the floor,

when you fell out of it,

i thought we were in love,

maybe for a little bit,

gave myself away too much,

what else could i give,

i gave you my body,

so you could feel rich,

still asked for change,

we were born to sin,

sex on our minds,

what else could we think,

are we connecting,

or are we just here for a link,

my eyes are on you,

while your eyes are closed,

our love started to shrink,

hearts grew cold,

it was better to leave,

cuz if i stayed,

i would’ve grieved,

on dead love,

better when it was sweet,

it turned bitter,

turned a trick into a treat,

don’t regret that we met,

i learned what i seek,

even if i was at my lowest,

you won’t see me at my peak.

times like these,

i was afraid to be alone,

begging on my knees,

to call someone a home,

the feeling is bittersweet,

learning the more i grow,

solitude finding love,

people felt like a hotel,

to visit; just to leave,

parts of them,

often pass by,

in remembrance,

to fulfill your future,

and not your past,

it’ll never last,

until you make it,

worth lasting,

it’s everlasting.

i wasn’t doing great,

and i never told you,

unrequited love,

the old me never knew,

wish you’d want me,

but you had to choose,

becoming an option,

just for you to lose,

days i think of you,

i just look at the moon,

to let you go every night,

just to see you soon,

this might be goodbye,

in love with the truth,

i’m sick of the lies,

love could be my demise,

but it couldn’t kill me,

even if i tried,

i wish we had closure

throw my sense in a well,

wishing you well,

knowing i’ll get colder,

living in my personal hell,

missing the old you,

now i don’t know you,

wishing you the best,

my mind is finally at rest.

the way i can leave so easily,

i grew distant and cold,

no longer seeking to hold,

i’m my own worst enemy,

it’s become a lonely road,

words that i used to choke on,

no longer linger in my spirit,

some nights i dream of you,

some days i wish we never met,

mixing love with our lust,

creating issues of trust,

was it the universe or us?

through the heat of moment,

realizations of the thoughts,

crystal mind; oh how potent,

coming in-between the rocks,

beauty in the way the sky,

reflects of the ocean,

glistened like a diamond,

flourishing with emotions,

while it all feels redefined,

crystal mind, ascending,

needing to realign,

finding myself defending,

looking for ways to hide,

self-sabotaging,

could’ve been my pride,

cut ties with the dead,

and i feel more alive,

pain is only knowledge,

to seek the wise,

one wise man,

one wise woman,

intertwined.

born in a age full of despair,

where we care too much,

and we only say too little,

we act under pressure,

no limit that can measure,

on the capacity of the love,

love is a fire that is born to burn,

never to diminish through time,

living in a eternal flame,

burning inside of the fire,

where i remain in peace,

while feelings i receive,

we are born to burn,

actions by words,

ashes to charcoal,

as to skin to bones.

emotions tucked away,

hidden amongst the hills,

not in my peace in place,

look myself in the face,

thoughts become a chase,

heart beating from my chest,

tears coming down like weights,

i can be someone to love & hate,

hills amongst the hidden,

am i choosing my own fate,

or am i living in my mistake,

the real amongst the fake,

learned and earned my peace,

emotions must be released,

at my own pace & my own space,

you are the branches to the tree,

you are amongst that fallen leaf.

in the deepest parts of my mind,

what’s left to find is just time,

moments & scenarios,

behind the back of my eyes,

visualizing to realize,

while my soul rewinds,

seen you in my past life,

we’ve lost ourselves,

just to find ourselves.

growing our own gardens,

on the same grain of dirt,

with our roots; there is pain,

a blessing & a curse,

love overtaken by lust,

discovering our worth,

heal; the less it’ll hurt,

traumas resurfaced,

we’re here to affirm,

communicate,

with any concern,

love that we deserve,

struck our nerves,

like the stars connected,

in the sky; looking up,

finding a reason why,

it’s beautiful when,

time is divine,

when we’re aligned,

in-front of our minds,

all these signs,

now you’re mine.

the toughest of them all,

the love that is obtainable but unreachable,

a long lost friend, far away but yet so close,

like how the moon says good morning,

and how the sun says good night,

as much as we blend into the dark,

we’ll still be in the light.

the thought of you no longer lingers,

the memories of you are vivid,

there’s light in those vast moments,

moving on but find myself coming back,

i’ll always wonder how your doing,

i got my closure; but not from you,

bittersweet love; rushes of sour feelings,

it was never enough but i tried,

you hate me for telling the truth,

i loved you for you being you,

you couldn’t do the same for me,

i forgive you, but that’s my greed,

your soul was a tainted seed,

that couldn’t grow next to me.

beyond earth, in sound,

it’s far beneath the ground,

love surrounds us everywhere,

deep into our core, it’s found

celestial beings in the universe,

flying amongst the stars,

aura as bright as a supernova,

the lust is non-existent,

spoken from reserved spaces,

used to be vacant; wasted,

kept ourselves occupied,

washed up; never faced it,

manifested; i created,

healing; found the cure,

allure; i wasn’t sure,

while time passes through,

i’ll be waiting for you,

protected by; i wouldn’t lie,

look deeply into my eyes,

i’ll tell you about my life,

ancient love; a light,

lighthearted, a spiritual pride,

we’re in our own space,

allow you to see my mind,

it wouldn’t be a waste.

all these voices around,

my presence ponders,

that time is a wound,

my existence wonders,

if we create our loom,

do we make our doom,

is it our only escape,

fate is never late,

look for yourself,

the mind is a maze,

you’ll find your way,

keep the whispers close,

learn to keep them away.

you taught me to be tender,

all the unconditional love i digest,

it’s as big as a whole forest,

set a fire in the woods,

when i wasn’t doing my best,

felt the anxiety in my chest,

got that tender love,

you could say that i’m a mess,

i can feel it when your tense,

now it makes sense,

on why i need no friends,

moving forward w/ no loose ends,

look at where the time went,

look at where the time spent,

look at where the time sees,

it could be overseen,

reaching overseas,

i’m in between,

heavens gate,

against my fate,

feel my heart race,

feeling out of place,

i’m in my own space,

but you think i hate,

theirs no place in my heart for evil,

it’s a steep abyss, like a wishing well,

only to wish you well and not to be missed,

purity in-between our wit, you’re my witness.